"Oh, yes, stretched, lubed, and ready, just the way Sawyer liked his holes."
A Bear Walks Into A Bar is a shifter pornucopia! Readers of PWP who want to cramp their hands from a faptastic time, this is a book for you!
Ever been in the mood to just read about dicks, cum and multiple partners? Yeah?
Or just wanted to cut the middle man, leave the gushy romance words and get down to the fucking...a lot? As a lover of PWP, I can say this is one to jizz read. Get your towels ready! Practice those nifty hand exercises, your hand(s) will get a workout!
Wait! Let me get to the book first before you start, Naughty!
This book is about a lot of shifters, but the most important is the Urso, or head alpha bear, Sawyer. He's a grizzly, rich bear who is approaching hibernation season (late fall to spring). There is talk of four shifters encroaching his territory with a new bar and he can't have that. He's the boss and the boss needs to know what is going on at all times. He's slinging major meat between his legs and he has no problem wielding it to get his way and show his power.
So he enters their bar, meets Dillon - a boar bear, Jerry and his cousin Kevin, alpha and beta wolves and Brad, the horniest fox shifter ever. The four shifter men were ousted from their shifter clans. Sawyer takes a sniff of their lusty power and joins the group in ménage à cinq. Sweet Cheesus, was that a hot howdy do!
[A Ménage à Cinq GIF FUCKS HERE ON THE BLOG]
How'd that get there? *fake blush*
To get the most enjoyment from this story:
1) Don't take it too seriously.
2) Know it's about 85-90% sex, the rest is plot (plot's there but paper thin)
3) Don't mind open relationships
"Sex is a tool, like any other, to garner loyalty, win support, let off steam, or exert dominance."
I'm a reader who doesn't mind a heavy dose of sex in a story and this book found all of the fucks from the world to use.
You might not have a fuck to give because A Bear Walks Into a Bar, has taken your fuck. It's reaping in football fields of fucks all around the world. This book might win the fuck prize because of its abundant use.
There was so much sex, is there such a thing as contact jizz on the face?
And even with the abundant sex with multiple partners, it wasn't boring, just saturated.
The wolves love to play. The bears in hibernation mode = major horny. There are elk shifters that really impressed me with being able to stand out with all the other hot shifter men around. And of course, Brad, the horny ginger fox shifter: "Power bottom didn't come close to describing Brad."
Fox shifters aren't monogamous and are always down for having a good time with as many people as they can.
"What did one get when they entered a room with two or more fox shifters? Fucked to death. But what a way to go."
Brad's a great representation of that. He was like an Energizer bunny that guy. Nothing stopped him after coming to find more cock to stuff inside.
There wasn't much kink, barely any. What to find? Double penetration, a sex sling, many variations of multiple pairings - the highest number was a ménage à huit! That was a slick, fluids filled fun time.
[HERE IS WHERE AN ORGY PIC PUMPS ON THE BLOG]
An 8-some for those who need to visualize.
The plot? It's about bonding, finding mates and forming alliances among different shifter factions. The shifters couple up but that doesn't stop the fuck train. And the author wrote it in a way with their shifter mindset, the sex is just like a welcome, or show of dominance, or just a way to share their power. Shifters exude powers more so during sex, so they'll love to have plentiful and often. Given their natures in this book, it wasn't any surprise why it was sex all the time.
But the plot is not as strong as it could have been. There were parts where the story slacked off like Rudy, the current alpha wolf who has a power hungry beta who wants his place. A showdown wouldn't have been remiss. Some spots in the story were a little dull, a little heavy on the exclamation points, a little cheesy.
But in the story's favor, it was easy to follow and I didn't mix up who was who or should I say, who was doing who. It's not a serious book, I had a fun time reading their bonding and I didn't get jizz in my eye, a plus.
Would I recommend? Not for every reader.
If you prefer a couple who only are dedicated to themselves, try Eden Winters, "Naked Tails". It's my fave shifter story from this author with possum shifters! Romantic comedy FTW!
So in closing, here's my favorite quote:
"Hi, I'm Brad. Have I blown you yet?"