When will I learn...
Let me start off by saying: A big THANK YOU to my surprise not-so-secret Santa who jizzernated this book to me because he's the bestest Stallion in the entire world (and fuck what ya heard). He gets all the stars, hearts, whatever cutesy rating system people come up with nowadays - hot dogs, bobsleds, kisses, staple guns, mugs, chia pets, etc. He gets them all! He's a 5++++infinity friend!! Thank you for this!! U R: *smiles* Now...maybe you want to leave the room? *smh* Probably not. Okay...onto why this book made me wear the biggest WTF face in history! (I exaggerate - it was only for an hour or two.) But it's been sometime since I got ramrodded by Blackwell fuckery. Forgive me. This is a 2.5 bobsled hotdog stars at the most. Y'see, I like rent boy stories. Wait, hold on...I love them. And the strippers. Oh, do I enjoy those stories too. And you might have seen me gush once or thirty times about billionaires. I like reading how the rich folk get with the poor folk. So "Forbidden" with the blue collared, down on his luck stripper (Jeremy), who also sells his ass on the side finally gets his HEA with a mild mannered wealthy gentleman (David) I had to have it. I know what to expect with Blackwell. Sometimes when the cray-cray is reined just right, there can be magic. Other times it's "WTFuckery" (thanks Sara) and this is leaning heaving on those WTF letters. In fact this book is bent over while getting double rimmed by WT and fucking F in hotpants. Triggers: Rape (off page), abuse, on page violence for those curious to try this path. Jeremy is a stripper. He's being pimped, abused and raped (but seems so blase about it all) by a weird villain/club owner pimp. He sees closeted David one night and lets him touch his dick. It was magic. *rolls eyes* The two start a whirlwind...romance? Is that what it is? Probably to them because they had mushy thoughts when it was so soon and odd for their characters while David continues to hide in the closets for reasons (which aren't given). Both characters weren't as concrete as I'd have liked them, especially David who seemed to have a personality transplant somewhere around 60% or so. But... I'm conflicted. The base part of me...she loved the fuck scenes, especially since more than half (show spoiler) of the fuck scenes were in PUBLIC! And that is my SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! Fucking on a stripper pole, orgies (that's right multiple), alleyway, pantry... Sometimes the filler didn't make sense but it didn't seem like the author cared too much as long as we got to an awesome fuck scene. Who am I not to bask in PUBLIC fucking? Even when the characters are weak as fuck, the telling got in the way and the suspense subplot was as strong as a overcooked noodle. EXHIBITIONISM! Just ignore the nonsense and say yes to the genitals being shoved to and fro in public! Now onto something else that is standard in a Blackwell 'American' story. *sigh* Let me find my fave gif. This is the couple's initial meeting.
Because American guys totally would think of Jeremy as a British public school name. Right? ;) Scarlet Blackwell, I implore to you. If your characters think British, SPEAK BRITISH, the entire story's tone is British and the only thing supposedly tying them to my country of the US of A is just a couple of Googled American places, why not just set the book in the UK? This is not the first time a reviewer has spoken out about Blackwell's 'American' stories. Sometimes it's funny when I read it, when I don't know what the hell the characters are talking about. But how many "kerbs" must I read about? I could gripe about some editing/ content issues but this isn't a review book for me. The ending was rushed and slapped together with loose strings. So much telling. I think I know why too, to fit another fuck scene in the book. Was it scorching? Of course. But so far from realistic. (show spoiler) Also whhhhhhhhhhhhhy end the story with such a loose end and then write that epilogue? (show spoiler) One of these days, my love of rent boy stories will bite me in the ass. Surprisingly, today is not the day. Because I expect WTFuckery from this author. Because though the plot was sort of lame, it sort of wasn't...but close to was. Yeah. Because most importantly public sex. Hey, we all have our crosses to bear. |