Once again, Chuck Tingle, you have surprised me. I enjoyed the hell out of this story. You may have a fan in me, Tingle. Job well done, sir/ma'am.
A gay big foot President whose name sounds like me deepthroating a shish-kebab while jumping up and down barefoot on hot coals, Gardook Yuldok (say that five times fast), is currently a second term president in America.
Fair warning, I had a ball searching for those Geico cavemen pictures because it's one of my fave commercials of all time, so you'll be blitzed in this review until I bore myself.
Hehehehe...look at him. He's all dressed up, ready for a night on the town.
BAM! This is his good side:
Lemme get back to my home slice, President Gardook Yuldok who "won by a landslide after staying true to a platform of environmental activism and fiscal conservation." (I kid you not) Mind blown.
And not only is President Yuldok an environmentalist...he's an international pop star whose top 40 hit, “It’s Lonely Out Here In The Forest” "became an immediate classic with even the most jaded of hipsters".
I chuckled for at least 5 minutes straight upon learning this.
But anyway, if you're reading my review, you want to know about the Sasquatch/ human boner jams, ammi'right?
Allen Bennet, is a political blogger who just got the scoop of a lifetime, an invitation to interview President Yuldok. Allen is gay and there are rumors about the president possibly being gay, nothing confirmed though the lack of a First Lady might be a clue.
So what do you think happens in 16 pages?
Especially with a warning like this:
"Despite their integration into our society, relationships between bigfeet and humans are still very taboo, and a gay relationship of that sort is even more so."
Survey says: (view spoiler)
President Yuldok doesn't beat around the bush. He'd rather spend time beating dat ass, filling it with his Sasquatch spunk, flood Allen's inner man cave, if you catch my drift.
“I’d like to fuck you.” Yuldok says, calmly and completely straight faced.
Despite his alpha swagger, the president’s bluntness has finally gone too far and I actually find myself a little bit offended by his offer. Everything about this is just too formal, too… strange.
I can tell that he sees this in my face, but his collected domineer doesn’t falter for a second.
“Why would I let you do that?” I ask, flustered.
Yuldok doesn’t miss a beat. “Because I’m hot, gay, intelligent and I’m the fucking president; because I’m a rare commodity and I know my value. Because I can.”
Big Foot Swagger...they're not ready for it, Yuldok. They're not ready.
I am, though. :D
Yuldok is crude and super assertive, a bit of an asshole really but he gets the human job done. HARD! With toys, even.
3.5 stars rounded up, why? The writing isn't going to win any awards but it's better than some of the PWP I've read. In fact the story is 3 stars but my enjoyment was a 4. No romance, just fucking.
I love that fucking big bigfoot cock.” I tell him desperately. “But I need it in my asshole, I need it so bad.”
“Is that how you address your superior?” Yuldok asks sternly in his deep, booming voice.
“I need you in my asshole, Mr. Bigfoot President.” I repeat, formally.
#monsterporn #don'tactlikeyou'veneverread #WTFdidIjustread #gigglingfiendisme #geicocavemendoitbetter #desksexFTW