I am going to motherfucking read the fuck out this book!
Fucking did! And it was better than I anticipated!
Dear Chuck Tingle,
1) Your author name is da shit. On the serious tip, that shit is perfect.
2) WTAF (wo-)man? Like WTF dude(-ette)? You reading my mind?
3) Your titles are like angel farts. You'll know what that'll mean.
Here's a visual aid for Kirk, the bike riding, leather wearing coat, gay unicorn!
Your bits tingling yet? I bet they are. Kirk has that effect and all because we're unicorns and shit. Oh yeah.
Let's get reviewing, shall we?
Mario is driving in the Nevada desert, rushing to make it to his older brother's wedding. He left work late and was in a hurry from West Hollywood to Las Vegas. Sadly, he totals his car. And he starts walking hoping for someone to give him a ride.
He'll get that twice (I'll explain soon) in Kirk, the hunky and hung (of course) unicorn.
Kirk comes in riding his motorcycle, horn shining pearly and white, flesh glistening like summer's dew and talks like a human. And you know what Mario does?
Well I expected for him to drop to his knees or bend over in front of the mighty unicorn stallion with pants around his ankles. No...he has a conversation with this magical being.
Like no question to his sanity or anything. Or even an internal thought or check to see if he might've bumped his head or accidentally inhaled a hallucinogen.
Kirk offers Mario a ride (of course) and the two carry on a rational conversation for the beginning of the ride. But the powers of uniporn are mighty and strong. Lust is always on the menu.
His casual unicorn demeanor is so incredible to me, and suddenly, despite my best efforts, I find myself getting turned on.
“Whoa.” Kirk says with a laugh, sensing the hardening of my cock up against his back. “You getting excited back there, buddy?”
“No.” I protest, defensively.
“It sure doesn’t feel like it.” The unicorn prods with a laugh. “That feels like a big fucking human cock pressed up against my back.”
I don’t say a word, completely embarrassed.
“You ever fucked a unicorn?”
And so begins the awesome journey into uniporn.
Mario finally gets an inkling of sense into him when seeing the girthy unicorn staff in all its glory. But when dealing with unicorn cock, it's ride or die. Put out or shut up. Or some shit like that.
So they fall in love. Fuck in the desert, man and beast forever in unicorn lust.
“I love you so much.” Kirk the unicorn tells me, his eyes aflame with truth and passion. “I want to be your biker unicorn lover forever!”
As if there would be any other kind of ending. Decently written, not as many typos and I am definitely reading more from this author.
Unicorns #winninglikeamofo #hooves4life #3.5starsroundedup