Becoming A Prison Bitch: Ass Pecked By Prison Pigs

Becoming A Prison Bitch: Ass Pecked By Prison Pigs - Axel Parker

This book. Me.
This fucking book. Me.

This title is a gold star! I salivated all day a couple hours the moment this title came into my life! And the blurb? Oh divine, there is mention of "ass plowing". It was most certainly going the fuck down tonight.

I put aside my review book for this gem. And I regret my decision. Shoulda stuck with my selkie.

Look above at that face being smacked with the palm of disappointment.

Warning: There are no PRISON BITCHES BEING ASS PECKED BY PRISON PIGS!

I can over look the typos. I will ignore the stilted, robotic English(?) dialogue. I will even lower my PWP standards IF the smut is good.

It was sorely lacking in Becoming a Prison Bitch.
In fact, this book doesn't deserve to even have prison bitch in its title.



“My God, this is like fucking a virgin cunt,” he moaned in ecstasy and realized that he was cumming very fast. He spilled his warm liquid deep into Noel's as hole and surprisingly Noel seemed to enjoy the thrill more than Alex.

They continued to have three or four more sessions that night and finally exhausted they rested huddled together in each other's arms.

“Thanks Alex, I hope we could continue sometime later.” Noel said.

“I'm afraid that would not materialize.” Alex said.

Why not?” he asked.

“I'm planning on getting a transfer from this place.” Alex informed his mate.

“That's a pity, I will miss you, really miss you” Noel said.


Holy shit was this horrid. I can't put anymore quotes in this review. I have a fuckton of them. Just look at my updates and my astonishment. WTF?!

Alright, one more winner:

“Listen,” Alex said, purely out of nerves, having not rounded up the right words, having no idea what they might be, “listen.....” he repeated.

“I'm listening.” he said.

The flat tone put Alex a mile back. “Look,” he badly stalled. “I mean....”

“You mean what??” he asked, not hostile, but as if he simply wanted to know.

“I mean,” Alex told him. Completely baring himself. “I mean, I just would, I really would.”


*claps hands*

Let's be fucking honest. Who speaks like that? This fucking prison? Why so formal?

I get the author tried to make a statement against the penal system (yes, I see you know how to Google) and sadly this is not me making slick innuendo. The author put philosophy and social views in PWP.

Don't fucking advertise prison bitching and deliver outcries of injustice. Pick one side of the fucking fence and write about it. Don't deliver a mega smelly turd with odd dialogue and lame sex scenes to make a difference.

Just don't.



Thank fuck this is available in the Kindle Unlimited program.

P.S. The author seems to forget which character he was talking about at points so you try muddling through that at your own risk.

I wasn't going to rate this but I can give a star for the title and the blurb. *grumbles and picks up review book*