Arriba Aruba!
A Hearts On Fire Review ONE STAR--Jonathan Treadway's "Arriba Aruba" is a vacation-love themed novella features insta-love between a jilted groom and a man he meets on his flight to his vacation.
Cray is 26, his best friend and female fiancee just eloped on the day of what was supposed to be Cray's wedding. The jilted writer is down in the dumps. His Waltons [insert your ideal perfect family here]-like family tries to comfort the sort of upset/sort of relieved weird angst of being jilted, MANTEARS-having Cray but even their perfectness can not change Cray's need to get away. He has long...dry...uninteresting internal dialogues about his fiancee, her family, who's paying the wedding, the evilness of his fiancee and many more off tangent thoughts. He's worried about how people will perceive him and is happy he won't be the bad guy this time. I mean he did do nothing when he caught his best friend/ best man and fiancee making out in public the night before.
Who can pass up a babe like Cray? *raises hand*
So on Cray's long drawn out adventure where he flies from California to Houston to Miami to Aruba, he meets blonde, long haired Stone, handsome gay graphic designer. And would you believe that both men live in LA and are travelling to Aruba together? Coincidence? And Stone is a walking Aruba history/culture buff because he goes into detail about a lot of interesting facts on Aruba. (ex. Aruba is a desert island- they have to have most of their food imported, the weather is usually the same year round, etc.) I had to recheck to see if the tourism board of Aruba didn't have a hand in writing this story.
Believe me, Aruba is interesting and I'm sure the author wanted to include all of Aruba's fact but this was supposed to be MM romance, not a vacation guide.
So after sifting through the dry, history, aruba research, the romance kicks in after the 50% mark...and it was lusterless insta-love that was. Once Stone stop spouting Aruba facts and deals, I still couldn't connect with him. He was such a flat character.
And Cray? *sighs* Uninspiring, boring, Cray. I'm certain his internal dialogue was supposed to maybe endear him to the reader, but it fell way off the mark. He's never been with a man or, really, a woman other than his fiancee (and beware there's mention of vaginal sex if it's not your thing to read about) He's practically a buttsex virgin. And once he meets Stone and his long blonde braid, he's suddenly a gay man.
Here's a taste of his revelation:
"Shit, I can't believe I waited so long for this. That was absolutely fucking amazing! Why would anyone want pussy after that?" Cray remembered William's words as he finished speaking.
"Haven't a clue. Wait until you're on the receiving end. Having a cock stroking over your prostate is better than just about anything in this world. You'll be fighting to be on the bottom from then on."
Again I ask, who wouldn't fall for Cray?
Plus, the way Cray spoke...I just did not care for it. When he's on the phone, he thinks: "One ringy dingy. Two ringy dingy." There are other odd quotes peppered throughout "Arriba Aruba".
Consider it a non match made in reader's heaven for me. Weird, uninteresting dialogue, bland characters, weird pacing between the romance and missed marks(the glossing over Cray's first time being a bottom...WHAT?!), excessive MANTEARS, lame sugar sweetness, awkward sex scenes and an abrupt ending. The book could possibly have a sequel in the future.
I'm not checking it out or more from this author.
But this book might be able to appeal to certain readers! Whom? If you're a fan of Scotty Cade or Etienne, you might be able to enjoy this. Or if you're interested in learning more facts about Aruba. Because this read more like marriage between a tourism pamphlet and a pseudo-romance.
