SheReadsALot...seriously.

she's just a girl who loves books.

Stereotypes in insta-love. Ho hum.

Permanent Ink - Jaime Samms
A Hearts On Fire Review

TWO HEARTS--The re-release of Permanent Ink by Jaime Samms is a short story that features a very quick pairing between white college basketball player Eric and black tatted/pierced ex-con Dwayne. Eric's best friend is Dwayne's cousin, Angel, meaning they knew of each other but never formally hung out. Eric judges Dwayne based on his outward appearance, assuming the worst. Though Dwayne doesn't help Eric's preconception in the beginning of the short when he brags about his ass pain from a hookup the night before. The two start on the wrong foot and it quickly turns around into a HEA.

Race is an important factor in this short. And unfortunately, so are a few stereotypes.

This is a re-release, I haven't read the original version but I'm going to take a stab that not much changed. Though the time period could be implied as modern day, it read more like any reference to the time period was vaguely mentioned. An example, Dwayne is supposed to look like a "thug" with cornrows and beads because he came from the hood and had to wear the "thug" exterior to protect himself on the "inside".

*sigh*

I just can't buy the characterization as justification for writing Dwayne this way. I'm unsure if the story is supposed to be based in the UK or America, so it could help me reference the characters. Maybe that's how the "thugs" dress and act in a different part of the world? *shrug*

I think I see what the author was going for, opposites attract insta-love romance but the beginning was rough. I didn't like Eric. He was privileged and didn't really come away as a better person in the end. Dwayne read more like 2-D character who had past rape added to his life to give depth?

Past rape was given as the reason for the "armor" of tattoos and 'tough persona....why have him brag about sleeping around if he has a sexual hang up (about bottoming). There were contradicting factors - hooking up with random men to never having sex since jail.

Didn't make the impact it tried to go for.

My second biggest gripe (after poor characterization) is if this was reedited, why not make it read more current? Angel tried to give something about race relations when he tried to give a teaching moment with Eric. But it kinda fell off to the wayside. Story is too short to try and encompass crime, rape PTSD. Not a fan of the way it was written or presented.

The one sex scene was a bust because the main characters read awkward and acted awkward to me. Example, it'd be a kiss then stall then kiss then pause...not smooth writing. Along with the vagueness in the writing.

I've read this author in the past. Samms's books have a tendency to be full of angst. I don't think the topics added to make the story...interesting (for lack of a better word) was needed.

How could the story have been better? More length, show how the two connected rather than insta-love over time. There were very tiny bits of that that just didn't go anywhere.

Didn't like Eric by the end - he still read like a privileged rich kid. I doubt he grew or will grow from his relationship with Dwayne. Dwayne could do so much better.

Not recommended.

Fun historical road trip romance!

Wanted, A Gentleman - K.J. Charles
A tag team review with Chelsea

3.75-4 HEARTS (sliding scale)--

WANTED, A Gentleman of better character than he knows, who plays the Villain to the manner born. Prompt application to M.St.V. is greatly desired as a Promise remains to be kept.

Oh this was fun!

Wanted, A Gentleman is officially my first book of the year and I couldn't have chosen any better to start the new year off! Take one overworked scribbler who is a bit shifty (Theo Swann) and pair Theo with a former slave turned well to do merchant who is straightforward (Martin St. Vincent) and get a surprisingly light, and sexy opposites attract budding romance(?)

It's romantic in a sense though the story starts with a HFN feel, it's a promising start which read like an organic conclusion.

St. Vincent (I've had a great track record with historical St. Vincents) needs help locating a wayward teen who is determined to marry a liar. The girl is the only child of St. Vincent's former masters = complicated city. Theo runs a matrimonial matchmaking advertising business where the lonely and desperate write for potential matches. The two men are thrown together during desperate measures, Martin wants to help a child he grew up with though the ties still uneasy to fathom and Theo wants the money Martin promises him....even though he can't stop his attraction to Martin.

The two start off as strangers, are thrown together in a race to catch up with the eloping pair. And you know what happens during that road trip when mutual passion and chemistry is shared between the pair?

Road side hooking up.




This isn't PWP in the least and the road trip plot and chasing the wayward teen and her crappy swain plays second fiddle to Martin and Theo's page time. Thankfully.

The story is a definite win, but some parts were better than others.

Where this book excels : The main characters are the read and butter of this story. From the moment they meet to the very last scene, Martin St. Vincent and Theodore Swann grab the reader's attention.Well known Charles is a wordsmith and exceeds with excellent dialogue between her main characters. No different in Wanted. Theo and Martin have great balance of funny, serious, sexual and damaged.

"This has been a delightful interlude, but if you don't fuck me right now, I am going to set fire to your house. Consider yourself warned."
"Well, if you put it that way. How do you like it?"
"In."
"I'm trying to treat you with respect and consideration. The least you could do is stop playing the harlot."
"What makes you think I'm playing?"

Well matched pair.

Another point where the story excels is the fact that Martin is a conflicted character. The story is light in tone but it by no means diminishes Martin's history. I think it gave a great grasp on being...'other' than what society deems 'the normal'. It was cool to read Charles' take on a merchant Black Briton in the Georgian era. Martin is layered. He's proud of his accomplishments (freed slave now merchant), never mistreated as a slave and grateful for that because it could have been worse. But he is still angry. (Justifiably so) Traveling north of London, the reader gets a taste of the subtle racism Martin endures, learns why he chooses to continue this 'mission' and get to learn all of facets.

All while having Martin find a possible partner. And it wasn't angst riddled.

Out of the pair, Martin wins for me slightly over Theo, though Theo is definitely no slouch in the great character department: witty, quick thinking and just a bit criminal. Both are damaged by their upbringing but aren't bitter at the world.

Where the book was good : The plot was simple and engaging. I've lost track of how many historical romances I've read that used a Gretna Green road trip plot device to throw opposites together. It was nice to read one with a queer main couple. It's a quick read so, there aren't everlasting declarations made (Totally wouldn't work BTW) There was a big twist at 65% that seems a little left field...how? what? who? But overall, it works for the arc.

Where the book could have done better: It's little nitpicks but knowing I've read stellar reads from this author in the past, I know this story could have been more. Maybe a little more exposition on Theo. It's a Martin/Theo book and we get more depth on Martin. Theo is an interesting character. He leads a double (or triple) life. Once the twist is thrown in, Theo loses a little of his sparkle. I think I wouldn't have minded more page time, maybe a little more written at the stage stops on the road. The reasoning of why Martin chose to chase after 'Cressida' is given but maybe a touch more.

Altogether, the story more than gets the job done.

Would I read more of this pairing? Yes...and no. The story ends on the right hopeful note. I wouldn't say no to possible future snippets of their future but the story really drove the main point across.

Martin is living a HEA (as much as can be expected in that time period) being free and being able to help the poor Britons in need.

Theo was a delightful addition. Two lonely hearts entwined for however long they fancy.

Sometimes a budding and hopeful end is all we need.

Recommended for readers familiar with Charles work, readers of historical romance who don't mind different interpretations of a HEA.

Back again for L.M. Brown's mermen!

Dangerous Waves (Mermen & Magic Book 3) - L.M. Brown
3.75 HEARTS--Back again for L.M. Brown's mermen!




(You know if I return to a series more than once, I've been hooked)

The last 2016 review on the blog is all about the fantasy. (Hey, this is me we're talking about-it's a fave genre)

L.M. Brown has created quite the world in the Merman & Magic series--readers visit the sunken island of Atlantis, inhabited with merfolk and sea creatures. Plus there's mythology thrown in with an interesting cast of god/goddess side characters that add a sense of magical instability in the tales. The gods are awakening from their stasis...the world doesn't know what it's in for.

In the third installment, Dangerous Waves, the prophetic Oracle mer family are the focus as well as Dax was the ex-lover from book #1. The Oracles are a group of three merfolk who are blind due to their psychic-like abilities. They are blinded once their get their powers at puberty, meaning they are virgins and must remain untouched. Kai, the Oracle of the present and protagonist, longs for a love to call his own, even though it's forbidden. He calls for help from the meddling goddess of love, Medina.

If you've been following along in the series (and I strongly suggest reading in order), then you know mer people are highly sexual. The Oracles aren't allowed any freedoms, basically prisoners in the kingdom of Atlantis. Enter the highly sexual Dax, the former lover of book #1's Kyle. Dax starts the book as the third in a temporary menage, a loner among yet another nomadic tribe that wants to move to Atlantis for stability.

Medina sense Dax's and Kai's fate and meddles in the only way she knows how.

It's hyper sexual vs. virginity, Dax and Kai couldn't be more different experience wise. But their chemistry is electric.




I like the route the author took with these two. It wasn't automatic jumping of bones, no sexy times happen until the last quarter of the book. The men get to know each other through a ocean road trip. Kai finally gets to experience life while traveling to England to help Dax check in on his former lover.

On the road, the two start opening up and learning about a common theme they seem to share, loners. But Dax thinks with his cock (that hasn't changed since book 1) and any time I fins myself liking him, he'd remember to be the jerk from book #1. He viewed sex as sex, Kai was a romantic. warning there is a sex scene with a MC and another person. That didn't piss me off. It wasn't cheating, but usually that's first third behavior of a novel, not so late in the game as the MC's start to get closer. I liked it. It remained true to his character.

It didn't read like insta-love, though the romantic aspect read short when coming to the romantic aspect. It took one of the men a little longer to realize his feelings. I felt it could have been played up just a little more for him.

Why this isn't 5 Hearts The goddess Medina seemed to be a main player in the beginning and them quiets (when hinted to being super powerful) and then shows up to not make much of an impact. The gods awakening is another larger series ARC but compared to the last two books, Dangerous Waves was weaker. We get to meet 2 new gods, add to Medina and series mainstays, Cari & Caspian, it's starting to get crowded. There are hints of conflicts to come, but it'd be nice if they were a little more defined. And the big conflict in the end? It was solved by a different being instead off the one who went to help. Something about the entire thing read anticlimactic.

Overall, a fun read.

There's opposites attract, mythology and magical hijinks. Plus, I'm enjoying the characters. I can't wait to read about Delwyn (Oracle of the past) in the future.

Not my fave pairing of the partnerships...but close.

If you're looking for a lighter urban fantasy series to try, I recommend giving the Mermen & Magic series a try.






A copy provided for an honest review.

This author writes urban fantasy with elements I enjoy...

The Vampire's Dinner - T.J. Nichols
It's that scary time again...Jizzmas time. It's week #5 of Jizzmas reviews!



4.75 Hearts--

"What the hell? I don't do blood play?"
Charles kept him caged in the chair and trapped by the table. "I can assure you I am not playing."

Well...it might be too soon to call it since we have just one more week of our Jizzmas reviews, but this is my FAVE of the bunch! (I've started and faltered with more than you know)

THIS IS HOW I LIKE MY VAMPIRES WRITTEN!



Good lord...hands down one of my fave 2016 vampire reads. And it's just 39 deliciously deviant pages. (And I have so many quotes saved)

Charles is a 400 year old vampire who indulges himself and revels in his baser needs for death, one time of year, Christmas day. He hires a rentboy, Blake and rents out a penthouse suite in a lavish hotel, plans the night accordingly. Blake's escorting to pay his way through college (cliché yes but *shrugs*), has virtually no familial ties and needs the cash his new client offered. What Blake thinks is a jackpot client: not only is he being paid highly, he gets to spend it in a posh hotel and eat a fancy meal.

Only thing is...Blake is Charles' dinner.

I read this author's work in another anthology - A Wolf's Résistance. Nichols writes paranormal/urban fantasy pretty well. Strong hand in setting the scene and I enjoy Nichols' characters and premises. The Vampire's Dinner surpassed what I expected.

Why this was magical? It's the little things that will always get my attention. Here the author portrayed a 400 year old being in present day. Charles spoke formally. He was a warrior, an assassin, not used to being overt. His thoughts read as such. When we're shown his thoughts, I bought it. Blake is scared shitless. BUT he's a rent boy first, where he sells himself and acts to his clients specifications. Blake was the ultimate actor, thought on his feet and used his wits. My kinda rent boy! ;P

The story ends HFN, as I think is fitting for the setting and tone. Any semblance of romance or HEA would ruin the effect the author is going for. The open-ended feel of that fateful night just lends more to the mysterious dark ribbon entwined. Will the bargain actually make it to the agreed upon terms? Can the pair be more than john and client? What's in store for their future? Part of me wants to learn more, but the other part that responded to this story...loves it exactly how it is.

The Jizzmas spirit is nonexistent here. Christmas is just the prop, thankfully in the background.

Not recommended for those who need on page penetrative sex, HEA and definitive romance. Recommended for readers who can handle a little dark, mystery and fangs. Who doesn't like reading about predator and prey having an agreement from time to time?



Don't mind if I do.

I'm definitely checking more of this author's work.


A copy provided for an honest review.

My Jizzmas spirit (ha) was a little underwhelmed with this one.

Cursed Miracles  - Meg Harding
It's the Jizzmas 'Corns vs. Grumpicorns Round #3!

Check out all of our reviews here for this week's latest batch of Sunday Funday Jizzmas



3-3.5 HEARTS (a sliding scale)


Out of all the Jizzmas tales from this anthology--I'll admit I didn't look through them all for fear of turning into gingerbread--this was the one I wanted to read hard. That cover, the author and that blurb?




Buuuuuuuuuuuuut...after reading, I'm not feeling the magic. And once again, it's nothing to do with the Santa Semen. In fact, the Christmas aspect in Cursed Miracles could be considered a throwaway for as much as it really mattered. Had nothing to do with the central plot which was long lost lovers.

Two hundred years ago in Britain, childhood friends turned lovers Lords William Mashinter and Brady Gallagher go through trials to hide their love. On Christmas, the love is tested ultimately where one is frozen in time cursed to walk the earth, the other is killed, cursed to be reborn and remembering his past life, yearning for what he can't have. We jump to present day after the curse and that's where the unease starts for me. (I'm ignoring the modern feel of the historical part)

Present day starts off a little cheesy with 'frozen' lover working in an office, being forced to wear a candy cane tie. Minor issue but I could do without the slice of silly. And when the grand reunion happens, I was expecting thunder and lightning...something. Two hundred years of yearning for this man, your soul mate and it read a little anticlimactic. What happened to the person who cursed them? Why wouldn't William keep tabs on them? Who is she? What is she? What's the purpose of cursing? All these unanswered questions I have.

Was the reunion worth the read? I guess. But the epilogue was too long I would have rather than focus be put into the reunion or building the tension prior to William and Brady's reunion. I can't rate this high than 3 Hearts because I've read 2 variations of a past life plot that left an impression--one recently that was bombastic compared to Cursed Miracles. I think it might be why I was underwhelmed. I can't help wishing maybe this was a little longer and stronger in places.

Overall, the story is readable.

Boy meets boy, says he loves him. He's taken away and he travels the earth cursed looking until he stops. And he ends up where he least expects him. Oh and the sprinklings of Christmas jizz. *shrugs* The meld of past and present wasn't as smooth for me.




A copy provided for an honest review.

Cool vampire short story with kinky undertonnes

Epiphany - L. A. Stockman
3.5 HEARTS--This is Jizzmas I can get behind!

Erotic, interesting characters, some kink and action sprinkled on top with the Christmas jizz splattered to a minimum!

 



No jingle bells were to be found!

Set in Victorian Britain (though it reads modern), Epiphany by L.A. Stockman features a 3000 year old Egyptian vampire, Khafra, and his new 18 year old lover, Alfie. Submissive Alfie loves nothing more than serving Khafra any way he can.

Think bondage and D/s-esque bedroom play.



Epiphany isn't just hot sex, though there is a heaping pile of it. There is some plot thrown in too! Khafra has a past and keeps it hidden from vampire society. Khafra is also infatuated with young Alfie, so much so that he devised his devirginization prior to the start of this short story. Alfie and Khafra have a connection, there weren't enough pages to get into heavy detail. But for what was given, it was believable enough.

Where the author made the story unique is the vampire society and the Epiphany holiday tie-in. Vampires have different rules when it comes to consorting with humans, Khafra has to decide where Alfie stands in his immortal life very quickly. Vampires have royals just like the Brits, there's a court and everything. I've read this author's previous work and she does well with historical tinges to her story to make it interesting.

Who Khafra is exactly is certainly that. My gripe? The story didn't elaborate on Khafra's 'specialness' If he's supposed to be revered, I expected a little more than what was given. The story length doesn't get to delve into Khafra's vampire background fully. and for a 300 year old vampire, I know he lived an interesting undead life. I'd have preferred reading the story at a different starting point, maybe reading Khafra's seduction of Alfie. Established couples aren't my go to reads, but thankfully, it was still early enough in their relationship to not be a big enough issue for me.

The positives outweigh my gripes. Stockman certainly writes characters I want to know more about. I really liked that the story is staunchly HFN. The bit of action (swords!) made me happy too! Though the villain read a little out of left field to me, I guess it was necessary to help move the story along.

Overall, a hot paranormal historical erotica with a modern feel. I do think this would work best for readers who want something quick to read with just enough plot to tide them over with a bit of bite.




I'm very interested in reading more stories from this author. She has good ideas that I've discovered.



A copy provided for an honest review.

Nothing like Tremblay reading Calmes in your ear...

Chevalier - Mary Calmes

FOUR HEARTS--You know what enhances a Calmesian experience?

Greg Tremblay reading Calmes in your ear!

It's a team that just works!

Like toast and butter...



Margarine (or a substitute for you healthy types)


Like peanut butter and jelly...

 

 

 

 

 

Not that one you perv (who are we kidding?)

 

Chevalier is a sequel I never thought would ever happen! The novella starts months after Romanus ends. Mason and Luc are going strong, still in love and still haven't moved in together.

 

Oh, what's an Calmes alpha to do?

 

I found myself smiling when Luc alpha-ed and let Mason see the inevitable. And just when I got excited, Calmes threw a loop in the form of gargoyle history! We meet Mason's long lost family, discover his origins, find there is more than the chasse in Kentucky. There's a ruling class and you won't believe who is on top.

 

The gargoyle world Calmes created isn't one I expected. It wasn't as paranormal heavy. It was more mythology and history based, a history/ slightly urban fantasy web weaved. The mystery of what exactly a Romanus is and what a Romanus does carried the plot while we meet Mason's birth family, the Moreaus. (Who I find to be deplorable) Mason and Luc's bond gets tested BUT it only gets stronger because their love is 100% and won't change for anything or anyone.

 

The Moreaus believe in class differences (i.e. Luc is nothing more than a warrior and should never be with a Romanus) The same argument from book #1. The lengths the Moreaus, and gargoyles who think like them, went to keep the classes different and treated Luc differently was pathetic. But Mary Calmes combats that with Romanus powers. (When we find out what a Romanus is, it's classic Mary Calmes hero)

 

Here the narration and story were evenly matched. I think my favorite parts were listening to Tremblay read Calmes dialogue, which can get a little ho-hum. Just because it really reads every day life. I mean, how many times can we read about normal domestic squabbles without getting a little bored. Tremblay has a way of breathing life, drawing me in.

 

Maybe making me feel like I'm the neighbor listening into Mason and Luc argue about moving in together.

 

Or a spectator to their passionate making up over the silliest of fights.

 

And Tremblay's accents were everything. As per usual. (Loved his gargoyles)

 

Did I have gripes? Minor ones - the final 'test' made no sense and was a little easy. Also, if the Moreaus had all the cash and power, how was it they just found Mason? And even after finding him, the father's reaction...it was a little false.

 

The good most certainly outweighed my minor quibbles. Mason and Luc lit up the pages with their chemistry. And it wasn't sex-a-palooza either! (Granted, we get more sex scenes than book #1, it doesn't start until way later as the mystery unfolds) I loved learning the history (I'm a history nerd, I'll confess) And the ending of this novella let me more satisfied with the couple and their standing in the world. They're definitely equals, stronger and ready to face whatever heads their way.

 

Yummy!! Calmes cracky goodness!

 

Ahhh!! MC + GT = a happy PBJ me!



A copy provided for an honest review.

Slow start, fiery finish!

The Education of Sebastian - Jane Harvey-Berrick

 

You ever played the Sims and saw one of them react to a fire?

Something akin to this maybe:



Why do I bring this up?

Because the last chapter of The Education of Sebastian actually had me react like a Sims character in a panic state. I flailed, screamed, cursed and repeated all three some more.

This novel had such an unassuming beginning but finished explosively.

I can't believe how invested I was with the characters, the plot, the everything of this novel.

I already have Part 2 singing on my Kindle to me to read it like YESTERDAY!

Thirty year old Caroline is stuck in a loveless & childless marriage to an asshole Naval doctor. He treats her like a servant he has rights to fuck, emotionally belittles her at every opportunity he gets and doesn't see the prize he has laying next to him every night. See Caroline has been married for 11 years already and her husband has made her into a shell. She's weak, she knows she's weak and she hates herself.

She's moved back to California to a naval base and resumes friendship with her ex-neighbors' son, Sebastian. It's been 9 years since she saw him last and the kid has grown. Now seventeen, Sebastian is starting the framework of the man he will be. It's summer, he just graduated from high school and instead of having a last hurrah before college, he has to worry about his drunk and abusive parents. The one bright spot is Caroline, his friend and crush.

Now the premise of the book is well known, 30 year old woman and 17 year old teen start a relationship. What this book does a good job of showing is why it's plausible in Caroline and Sebastian's cases. 30 and 17? What could they have to talk about other than genital boogey?

Yes, there's a metric ton of sex--not stellar, realistic and sometimes even gross

I should say gross aftermath

(show spoiler)

were on even footing despite their ages. Mentally, they were the same. The naivete and exploration especially,

Though my major gripe with the book is the language used. Caroline was thirty. It wasn't like she was Mother Gothel. The retirement home wasn't on the horizon. Her phrasing and thoughts read way older than her age a lot of the times. I understand the author wanted to drive home the fact Caroline is older but damn did she act even more mature than her age.

Sebastian was seventeen going on twenty. But the way at times, he'd act a little older, I can equate to having to virtually raise himself, living in such a house full of hate. The story is told from Caroline's POV, so we don't get the full scope of Sebastian's abuse, only second hand telling from characters.

Speaking of characters, I liked them. It was a lot of characters to keep track of but it added to the story. Even the asshole parents and shit stain of a husband. Ches was a great friend as was Donna. I was proud of them especially in the WTF chapter (I dubbed the last chapter this)

I believed the connection Sebastian and Caroline had. It wasn't just sex. They were both very emotional...crying, whining, declaring love at a drop of a hat.

Tempestuous.

That is this book.

And I only wanted to take a peek, ended up devouring it.

And now am the proud owner of the entire series.

And I've been told the second book is better?



This one sneakily grasped my attention. Can't wait to see what #2 does.

Had to pull out my rarely used DNF card for this one

Casto - Xenia Melzer
Had to pull out my rarely used DNF card for this one

RATED BROKEN HEART -DNF-33%


So...

Casto...



This was a disaster for me from page 1.

*clears throat*

Not the first time I've read books that don't work for me. I try to see if I can attempt to catch the plot the author tries to deliver, look for something positive about any story I read.

First time author Xenia Melzer's fantasy/mythology Master/slave based debut efforts does show that she is very interested in the world she created in Casto. So much so, that there is centuries of history, math lessons and hundreds of characters introduced. The author was indulgent with new plot thread and tangent written. You can literally read pages and pages of mythology before getting to the premise of Casto.

Meaning a bogged down info dump in the form of a base...



Then we get through millenia of history and convolution to get to two gods who was reduced to a demigod to teach the humans of the new world a lesson, Renaldo and his older brother Canubis (which I kept reading as cannabis). I questioned how all the other mythological beings could have fantasy-ish names and then we get Renaldo as the main character.

Anyway... Renaldo is thousands of years old and he sees 16 year old virgin warrior, Casto, do some impossible feat and take down Renaldo's top warriors. He takes Casto as his slave. And there is fighting and infighting with too many warriors/slaves/people/witches? to count nor care about.

Casto hates Renaldo. Renaldo wants to bed Casto. Doesn't for awhile because he wants Casto to want it. But then we're told there is chemistry. After months/days/years, they fight and a cherry is taken.

 Then an orgy pops up as a spring ritual.



I got off the Casto ride after that. The sex was too forced. The chemistry was the same. And the story telling was all over the place. I don't know why a five year old pops up in between Casto's slavery. Maybe a metaphor? Or flashback?

What the story needed - a clear plot, editing, and reorganization of a lot of paragraphs.

When there are more than 10 characters to keep up with, I think index of all of the characters might be necessary. We go from 2 to 4 then 6 gods, then there are 8 demigods on top of the 6 to keep track of.

Too much.

The Master/slave relationship? I wish there was a different way the entire Casto/Renaldo pairing was written. It read awkward and weird. I've read better stories with this semblance of a plot - war prize/ owner pairing - too much convolution to let the characters come to life in Casto.

Maybe the story got better by the end. (Though I doubt it as more characters kept getting added as I progressed) I'm not interested in finding out or even reading more of this series.

I do not recommend this to fantasy lovers.





A copy provided for an honest review.

Fake relationship cracky fluff? Consider me all over it!

Marriage of Inconvenience - M.J. O'Shea

A Hearts On Fire Review

THREE HEARTS--A lot of Dreamspun Desires have the fake-to-real relationship tropes.

I'm not mad at it.

You can find this in M.J. O'Shea's "Marriage of Inconvenience". What's this book's take on the classic trope?

Jericho Knox is a Hollywood actor that is trying to break from the teenbopper mold. He's thirty, handsome and is a decent enough actor. Just one thing, his public person as a womanizer is a lie, a carefully constructed lie to hide the fact that he's gay. He doesn't want to remain in the closet any more, and one night's foolish indiscretion causes him to finally come out to all. That's where our other protagonist steps in, 25 year old public relations assistant, Kerry.

A sweet guy who is starting to see how much of these celebs are merely puppets and his company are the ones pulling the strings. When he's called in to save Jericho's job, sparks fly between both men...and not in a sexy way. Jericho is an asshat and goes out of his way to be one. Kerry obviously has his work cut out for him. When Kerry and his company concocts a fake relationship and engagement to provide stability for the public, Kerry is forced to be the fake love interest.

What I've come to realize, M.J. O'Shea excels well asshole characters. I think all of my fave stories from her feature a jerk main character.

The story is readable. The ingredients are there to make a decent enough story. I think my contention is with the rougher first and last third. I'm #teamgrump all day every day, but any grump in a romance needs to have either believable turnover or at least show that they fully care about the person they care about.

Jericho Knox....I'm finding it difficult to buy his story and his HEA. He told the reader more than showed any redeemable qualities. He's a jerk but on a scale of despicable things to do to a person, he's not downright cruel. He's just spineless, a privileged weak person who takes and doesn't really give.

If there were ever a story that needed an epilogue, I think Marriage of Inconvenience does. This is my first time ever question the HEA of a Dreamspun Desire title.

Kerry despite his publicist job isn't as worldly, doesn't use vices as a crutch to self care and doesn't go out of his way to be bitter. I can easily see Jericho splitting because he gets triggered or he gets mad enough that he reverts right back to that bitter man we see for the majority of the book when he showed something.

I think Kerry deserved better, despite having a few things in common with Jericho. Kerry read more genuine. Jericho had the jerk part down but his growth or rush into a love that is told but I'm not co-signing on. I loved the secondary characters. They provided a nice cushion in this fluffy-ish mix. The story has a few love scenes (it read a little one sided since it meant more to one guy than the other)

Overall, it fits the Dreamspun mold. If Jericho gave an inkling of growth, I'd have totally rated the story higher.

An easy enough read with a fun trope. I do like the Hollywood spin on it, just not feeling Jericho. (Even though the guy on the cover is drool-worthy - it's one of my favorites so far from the house line)

Jizzmas Meh...

All I Want for Christmas... Is No Christmas (2016 Advent Calendar - Bah Humbug) - Colton Aalto
  It's the Jizzmas 'Corns vs. Grumpicorns Round #3!

Check out all of our reviews here for this week's latest batch of Sunday Funday Jizzmas



2.5 HEARTS (barely)--Whelp, they all can't be winners.

 

 

Alec is a college attending rent boy. He's had a rough childhood and when he came out on Christmas, his life got rougher. He was homeless. Hooking provided a means to an end, where he can provide for himself and pay his way through college. I can't knock the hustle. Where the story goes off the Christmas track, is maybe around the point where a rent boy who can't read obvious signals from his crush. His older lawyer works for the Colorado Attorney General crush and cousin of Alec's best friend and dorm mate, Hayden.

 

The story is hella shallow, the plot is just as deep. A plus in this story's side is that the Christmas jizz is not heavy. But I can't keep stretching reality to make peace with this story. There's a big time investigation...for why? And the entire stripping thing...not needed. Or the info dumps on top of over-explanations. (ex. Why would a Colorado resident need to explain to another Colorado resident--pot is free? We won't even get into it being an older law enforcement type explaining to a college student) Hayden was cool with Alec's profession. I think that's awesome...however the reason why he likes him is because of his hotness?

 

(Refer to the gif above)

 

There wasn't any on page sex, so no worries for shallow bedroom escapades. I kinda wished the story kept to the promising crush, left the international case and just focus on the guy's obvious feelings without making the rentboy angle be this big thing that it turned out not to be.

 

The story telling skills were not for me. And it had nothing to do with the Santa Jizz. It was just quality.

 

Had promise...got lost in the vast info dumps.

Jizzmas approved! ;D

The Fortune Cookie (2016 Advent Calendar - Bah Humbug) - Matt Burlingame
It's the spookiest time of the year...CHRISTMAS JIZZMAS time!!

A lot of readers are going to smother themselves in Christmas Jizz. Whelp at BMBR, we're reviewing Dreamspinner's Bah Humbug anthology - Grumps vs. Jizz Lovers (1 guess what team I'm on)



Here's my 2 cents:

4.25 Hearts--I feel!



Possibly the Jizzmas spirit? *squints*

This Santa jizz Grumpcorn was tickled by this adorably snarky story. I swallowed this load easily.

I think this year's anthology theme of Scrooges reigning supreme is great. (You can't tell me that the Scrooges don't reign) It's the only reason why I even looked at this year's Dreamspinner anthology. I felt one with this story's Scrooge, Laurence. He's 33, single and not a big fan of the Christmas commercialism. And if he shreds unwanted Christmas decorations from his office cubicle, so what? They shouldn't be invading his space. I feel he is misunderstood. He stood up to the Christmas cheery and their Christmas sugar, fought the good fight...maybe he might have been a little stern.

But he got his point across. *shrug*

Maybe too well, since he's been at it for years and this year an office mishap lands him in an office holiday planning committee. Mandatory or else. *gasp* And to make matters worse, the committee is being led by a Christmas loving ginger giant by the name of Nick Kringall. Nick tries to complete the impossible with Laurence on his team--throw a big party in a limited amount of time. The two men are forced to work together. During this short period of time Laurence thaws out, Nick seems a little otherworldly, is it a Jizzmas miracle?

NO!

Where this story wins is not the Jizzmas cheer, it's watching Laurence realize his flaws, grow as a person and open to let someone in. Also, Matt Burlingame, the author of this story has a fine hand at letting the story unfurl without letting it get lost to Christmas fluff and cheer. There was a speck of feels as there are mentions of past abuse - Trigger warning. There were also moments of cheese--hm, like Cheddar cubes--but it worked to make a well rounded story. And the romance was sweet not sticky. The laughs had a snarky tinge. Thoroughly enjoyed and will be looking for more MM romance from this author (it's his first time!)

On second thought, I don't think it's Jizzmas spirit I feel. I think it was a little indigestion. *burp* ;P

A copy provided for an honest review.

Gearing up for my fave author's first MM!

Shadow's Claim - Kresley Cole

I think my love for this author's words are well documented. She's definitely one of my faves.

How? I'm still reading a series after how many years now? A decade? Little over, under?

I just open up the wallet and send over my ducats to anything remotely IAD related. I own the series, or the series owns me? Hmm...



So the Dacians...borne from one the best frigging vampires EVER, Lothaire. I will forever <3 this evil, diabolical creature. And the Dacians, his royal family are intriguing.

I finally got to this story so I can be prepared for Shadow's Seduction, Cole's first MM!


(I'm so ready)

So how was book #1? The Dacians, Salem and Lothaire saved this story.

Princess Bettina of demon realm Abbondae, half demon/half Soceri, pines for the unattainable, her childhood best friend, the demon man whore, Caspion the Tracker. They've just become immortal (that's how young these two are which helps explain why they acted so...young for lack of a better word). But Bettina's crush/love for Caspion is not returned nor will it ever be. And you can read between the lines from the start he was not attracted to her. He's the star of book #2 which answered the vibes I got from him. (The hints Cole wrote as well helped. ;P) Bettina is ravaged by a bunch of Vrekners and nearly dies.

Does she avenge her attack? No. She suffers from anxiety and PTSD. (This I had no issue with)

Prince Trehan of Dacia, is a cold blooded assassin that is the 'sword of Dacia'. Due to Caspion's meetup with a royal Dacian cousin, Trehan leaves to hunt the young demon down and finds his Bride who bloods him...Bettina.

Out of the entire Lore, the Soceri are one of my least favorites. Witches aren't normally my fave but my intro to the Soceri was Sabine, who is hands down my least fave heroine from the entire series.

Bettina is a close second.

Two heroines whose mates are too good for them, IMO. The only Soceri female who is worth rereads is Melanthe. I <3 her to pieces. Bettina was a doormat. She whines, rolls over for her guardians and lets everyone else rule her life. She is the next in line to rule the kingdom but she doesn't act like it. So soft.

Cole uses another 'immortal to the death tournament' plot device with virgin Bettina and her kingdom as prize. So it was like reading reused tea bag tea. Because you can read the same kind of tournament in the first bunch of books from Immortals After Dark with stronger female characters.

Granted, the tournament was entertaining with Bettina's guardians/ godparents as side characters. There is something about Morgana, the Queen of Sorceri that is funny to read.

And Salem, the foul-mouthed, cockney speaking, invisible phantom? I could read him all by himself, he was so entertaining. What a crass pervert! Loved him

We do get more of the vampire realm, Dacia. Their history is interesting. Trehan was a great hero - patient, calculating, confident and in love with an obstinate woman who thinks a crush with her uninterested friend is the best thing since sliced bread.

And Caspion was a dick and not worth the infatuation. I understand why Bettina was infatuated in the beginning, first crush, etc But c'mon...

he's sleeping with other people --they never made any promises

(show spoiler)



So the impossible becomes possible, hot near sex (and actual sex happens), Nix shows makes a cameo--doesn't say a thing but my Valkyrie loving heart was ecstatic for the bit role she played, and LOTHAIRE shows why he's KANG for like 5 minutes.

The story ends with a HEA, an obvious send off as to who will be the players in book #2.

I'm wavering between a 3 and 4, so I'll rate 3.5 stars

Hot Vanilla...Haaaaaaaaaaaawt! *quelts*

Like a Lover - Jay Northcote
4.25 HEARTS-- Before reading :



I came here for the rent boy. *nods*

After reading : Well hell, I think this might be my fave Northcote book so far!

Let me clarify: the story is 4.5 Hearts, narration is about a 4. So I'm averaging to get my rating.

I write this review with eyes dilated and brains slowly leaking through my ears. Because the story...



Braingasm. It's a thing.

Not bad for hot vanilla.

Josh is a university student who pays his way through school with the one talent he's really good at: sex. When a client bails one night at a bar, he sees a new hot ginger haired prospect in Rupert. (Now I know what you're thinking. You imagined Rupert Grint when I said ginger haired Rupert. Right? Is it only me? I know it's not just me.)

Rupert is a few years older, slightly well off due to an inheritance and works in the IT department. He's also socially awkward, had a challenging home life (mom's not supportive and his stepdad to be homophobic) and is single. Rupert is sort of a loner.

Josh saw easy money in the beginning. But...still waters run deep. That first night blew Josh's mind.

As did Rupert's.

As did mine's.



j/k it was that mirror scene that topped it for me

When Josh and Rupert are near any bed or flat surface, they ooze sexual chemistry from their pores. It's damn near tangible. And the narrator, Mark Steadman, did a decent job of capturing the hot between the sheets (or mirror) moments. I've been spoiled by another Brit narrator, so it's hard not to compare. But Steadman is just like his name, steady. He has a calming, clear voice. He ramps it up when the boys are ready to go. And my favorite word he said was "arse". He made it breathy and sexy. *shrugs* Who knew?

For me, Northcote's writing can be hit or miss. Or I should say strong start, fizzled middle and then a soft ending. And with "Like a Lover", the second thirds were stronger. It's not a unique rent boy romance, but all parts of the story work. There were fewer slower moments. I actually listened to the audiobook twice. I never do that.

I did read along with audiobook, I don't think it added to listening. (I found the story to be stronger) I enjoyed reading Rupert and Josh's feelings change into something more. Though there was a point when Rupert was turning manipulative, Josh got the message. It's just his feelings got in the way. I liked the side characters (Steadman's voices for ladies in the book had me giggling). I didn't read any of the other Housemates books, I wasn't lost or found it hard to follow along. It can be read as a standalone (Though I'll be rectifying this error shortly)

We get to read Josh and Rupert fall for each other, make stupid mistakes and not drag them out for too long. So client/john to friends to fake boyfriends who bone to well...more.

Thankfully, it ends in with a HEA.

Hot vanilla read with some feels, low angst and memorable moments can be found here. Recommended if you're in the mood for that.



Refreshing New Adult MM romance...

Andre in Flight - Laura Lascarso

FOUR HEARTS--


'I've watched you sleep a thousand times.'





New-to-me Laura Lascarso is fairly new in the MM romance department. And she made an impression after reading novella, Andre in Flight.

I'm not sure how exactly to categorize it, probably contemporary new adult with a twist. The twist is everything that makes this story move. I'll try my hardest not give it away.

Set in Miami, twenty-something artist Martin works as a waiter in a Cuban fusion restaurant. His circle of friends is small, his love life is nonexistent. Other than a closeted co-worker who takes out his frustration on Martin since Martin refused him, he has no action. One day, he sees the new dishwasher, eighteen year old Andre who is full of youth and beauty. Martin's muse is captures. and there is something about the boy that captivates him. Is it his muse only? Or is it more?

The story is told in Martin's 1st POV but the reader definitely gets an equal sense of both main characters. Andre is essentially homeless, living in the worst neighborhood by exchanging sexual favors. Triggers: Past abuse, mentions of homophobic bashing. Martin takes the teen in his studio apartment...as a friend. It trips both of them out.

This is a period that I enjoy in reading budding romances, that getting to know the other person period. Hell I enjoy it in real life. Andre is a character and embodies eighteen. He's legally an adult, but sadly he's been through some rough things in his life. Sometimes he acted older than his years and then in the next page, he does something so damn eighteen!

Reading Andre and Martin move from roommates to more was great. I enjoyed the author's tone a lot. And even with the serious topics introduced, the story didn't read angst heavy. It was closer to realistic...for the most part.

Things I enjoyed:

Main Characters : both were men of color, Andre - African American and Martin - Cuban-American. And both men described a view of their world with a sense of their self. Andre, more so than Martin, he was young, black and gay in small town Alabama, where homophobia drove him away from home. Both men were characters and not caricatures with pretty skin tone.

The Twist : was not expecting it in the least though there were hints in the blurb. There's a point when it comes to ahead and I was shocked. That doesn't happen too often.

Things that weren't as strong for me:

Melissa : I'm unsure what side of the coin she's supposed to fall on. She's too ambiguous for me. (also, if Martin and Andre are subjects in this...game(?) What exactly is her story? How? I can see the why, though I think it could've went deeper.

Last 20-25% : The story gets the job done. It slowly unfurls with giving enough crumbs to move the pace along. But the last 20-25%, seemed like it could have been pushed further. Finding out the motive behind the story's villain(?) Why the main players? Will it happen again? Is there some mission? Ulterior motive? And the way one character just went away for a few weeks with no contact when they really seemed to be the puppet mater, just struck me as a  little odd. I think I quibble because I wish this story was slightly longer.

Overall, the story is certainly different. It sort of has paranormal elements but ...not quite. Is there sex? Yes, but it's overly detailed and doesn't need to be. It's more about Andre and Martin's connections. There are miscommunication issues, so if you're a reader who gets easily frustrated with that plot device, it doesn't overtake the entire book. Keep in mind it's New Adult, so expect the characters to act as such.

I think Andre in Flight read like a current snapshot of working class new adults who become friends into something more. It felt as close to real life as it could get.




Recommended? Yes. A sort of sweet, low angst glimpse at relationship that seems to stand the test of time. It has a HFN ending, which I think works for this age range.

But it's up for interpretation, sort of like Martin's artwork.

I'll be keeping my eye open for more MM from Ms. Lascarso in the future. I want to read what other ideas she has brewing.

P.S. This cover? Nom nom nom!



A copy provided for an honest review.

A little confuzzled, slightly around and wanting more...

Act Two: New Beginnings (For Whom the Heart Stone Burns Book 2) - Kari Gregg

3.75 HEARTS--Once again, I finished a story by the Gregg a little confuzzled, slightly aroused and wanting more.

Act Two: New Beginnings starts directly after that steamy ending in Act One: Safe Travels. You will be lost not reading in order.




Becket, the bibleot, is fully ensconced in the world of Ket. The giant ginger from Earth is to be trothed (arranged married) due to a sentinel scrying for him. His sentinel is Becket's uncle Theo's rival, Kellan is immediately attracted to Becket. And Becket can't deny immediate attraction as well.

So maybe this magic stuff might not be all that bad for the man devoid of magic?

The two have to be guarded until Becket makes a decision. Bibelots are to be protected since they're suppose to be unworldly. Becket doesn't fit the mold. And Kellan wants his man, his bibleot...now. He schemes to get his ginger right where he wants him.


The kittery buzz of arousal arcing between him and Becket wasn't a magic Kellan could scry in a pool of water or mix inside a witch's bottle. It couldn't be conjured with herbs or focused with stones, candles, or heartfelt pleas to the four powers. The attraction that drew Becket a stumbling step closer was more primal. Elemental.


Told from Kellan's POV, Act Two continues the heavy high fantasy world building. It starts in the constrictive, stone dwelling aerie Nitcha and ends in the tree dwelling aerie of Melaeum (think massive Redwoods with elevators!) Besides the hot attraction between Kellan and Becket, there is the mystery of both men. Kellan is a master magic practitioner who knows Becket is lying about where he's from and can't figure out why he is or who he is. The reader already knows Becket's background from Act One, don't expect a rehash in Act Two.

Kellan can't put his finger on where the lies start with his bibleot, but Becket is his. And he'll take him, lies and all. I enjoyed being in Kellan's head. I want to know more of these "secrets" that he kept alluding to. Melaeum definitely is a more interesting world. Kellan and Co. had to fly to get there on mythical creatures!



My fantasy loving heart squeed when Pegasus, griffins and phoenixes were mentioned. I hope for more of that in future Acts. The story is the beginning of Kellan and Becket's bonding. Becket's uncle and his magical crusade is secondary to Kellan's rush to troth, There is a presence of imminent danger, but no one knows where it's coming from.

Becket and Kellan succumb to their lust but surprisingly it doesn't take up the entire book. What does is more of the world building. We get to read about stones and their magic or gardening and its yield. It doesn't overtake the book, but it is heavy throughout.

Immediate gratification lovers, this is still not one for you.

The story is still slowly unfurling, along with the world.

But this was the start of the foundation of Kellan and Becket. I like them together. I can't wait to read how they grow together s a couple and how they face this magical world of Ket with its intrigues.



A copy provided for an honest review. 

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